Dear Joe Six-Pack,Please do not carelessly discard
those plastic six-pack rings
that hold your beer cans together.
The story about ducks getting
tangled up and dying is not
an urban (or rural) legend. I saw
a carcass with my own eyes.
I smelled it with my own
nose, too. It was gross.
The dead duck was right here.
I’m not asking you to change
your beer purchasing choices
or your lifestyle. All I am asking
is that you cut the plastic rings
when you have finished your
beer. Use a really cool knife
so the kindness feels less effeminate.